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This page is especially for dads and birth partners. In the midst of labour preparation it is easy to forget how valuable a birth partner is. However, having the support of someone who is both strong and calm can make all the difference in the outcome of a woman's birth experience.

 
SOME THOUGHTS FOR EXPECTANT DADS
Contributed by Danielle Bishoff- Australia
(This list is compiled from years of speaking with fathers in the
 hours or days following the birth of their baby.)
 
Know what to expect. Pregnancy and birth are the last places you want to be surprised. Be prepared and informed.

Get into it. She has to change all this lifestyle stuff, so do it with her. Eat the way she’s eating, exercise with her, do the things with her that she is doing to prepare for having the baby. It’s the only way to get a little inside the experience.

Listen to the belly! Feel the baby’s movements. Put your ear up to her belly. You can hear her heartbeat, the pulse of the placenta, and the baby’s heart beat (later in pregnancy). It is one of the only parts of the pregnancy that the dad gets to ‘have’ that the mom can’t experience.
 
What does she need? How can I help her create or find what she needs?
 
Be flexible.
 
Don’t take things personally.
 
Ask questions. Of everyone. Doctors, sisters, brothers, store clerk, guru, priest, trash man….anyone who’s had a kid, ask ‘em all. Listen carefully, and then realize that your experience probably won’t be like any of the ones you have heard about, good or bad, but somewhere in the stories you’ve heard you’ll find ways of getting through your own go of it.
 
Be ready to wait.
 
Don’t try to be Hercules. Labor is hardest first for the woman, second for the man. But she can’t give up because of the baby, and you can’t give up on account of her, so I reckon the guy has a triple heavy responsibility. Don’t try to be Hercules. Take a break, get some air, clear your head, have some food, ask someone else to give her a hand through labor for awhile.
 
Help her create the atmosphere she wants. I’m not talking scented candles; she’ll have all that and then some. I’m talking about being calm when she wants calm, strong when she wants strong, and sensitive when she wants sensitive. Be a rock.
 
You might get to a stage when the best thing to do is absolutely nothing. That’s the stage when there is nothing you can do to make it better, or quicker, or smoother. Then
she just needs to know you are there, next to her, doing nothing.
 
Enjoy it all! The birth of your child is the most incredible thing you will experience in your entire life.
 
Danielle Bishoff
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