- having babies, naturally... INSPIRATION womansbirth

Using ritual and ceremony gives deeper meaning to a situation. During ritual and ceremony we bring respect and reverence to what ever it is we are acknowledging, designating it as sacred. These processes involve gratitude, honouring and celebrating.

Ritual and ceremony bring the spiritual aspects of pregnancy, birth and mothering alive.

Rituals are repeated processes you engage in, that become part of your routine. The attention and reverence you bring to the ritual process returns to you through the effects and benefits it creates.

Ceremonies are one off events that combine rituals, other special processes and observances to honour, celebrate and ‘wish well’ the person and their situation that is being honoured.

During Pregnancy

Journaling

Write to yourself, I think…, my view about this is… etc and uncover the beliefs you hold. Doing this if you find outmoded beliefs or fears that are running your life, then you can let them go and re-program yourself with new, more appropriate beliefs.

For example, finish these sentences:

My body is…..

About birth I believe…

As a mother I will…

Realise your beliefs and then uncover the fear that may be underneath it.

My fear about birth is…

Then write a positive affirmation to replace the negative belief or fear and remind your self of that anytime you think the opposite.

Birth is…

Some women choose a fresh new book, unlined so you can draw and doodle as well as write. This journal will become a reference point for you and a keepsake for you and your child.

“I had tried to journal during my first pregnancy but felt I was judging my own writing and felt too uncomfortable to continue. During my second and third pregnancies, Jane encouraged me to journal again, with the knowing that no one would look at my journal, that it was my private space. I felt nervous but committed and tried again. I chose to write in coloured pencils in the journals which helped me over the hurdle of them seeming too formal. I drew, wrote with my left hand (I’m right handed), wrote letters and told the newest baby how the outside world was preparing for them. In both these journals I knew our babies name (regardless of the sex) and addressed the baby so. My journals reveal when middle names appeared, when anxieties appeared, how they were handled and subsided.

The journals also reveal personality traits of each child which have carried through. I wrote to Merlyn "I cannot decide if you are a galloping horse or a gentle sweet one." Turns out she was Gemini and both a galloping joyous horse and the sweetest and gentlest one in the family.

I am grateful for the reflections and early connections that I developed with my daughters through the ritual of journaling.” April

Letting Go of Fear Ritual

Page 27

“By acknowledging my fears, I recognized them as they popped up and I knew I really had to face them full on. In doing that I felt a moment of anxiety, terror even. I pushed myself on a bit further and allowed them to come out and allowed myself to feel them - to feel the discomfort instead of pushing it down. Each time this happened the intensity of the fear and the feeling decreased, and then they were gone!” Melissa

Create an Altar

On a mantlepiece or shelf, place items from nature that bring you good feelings about yourself, your pregnancy, mothering, your baby etc. You may have items from your own babyhood or other children’s special things. Photos of relatives, special trinkets, power objects, crystals, things you’ve made, cards, you’ll know what to put there. Creating an altar and attending to it is a ritual that will bring you connection with your inner journey through pregnancy. You will be able to see and feel “where you’re at” with relevant issues and situations because what you bring to your altar each day will be a reflection of that. Think metaphorically and observe your subconscious ‘speaking’ to you.

Consider yourself an altar and see where that takes you.

Journey to Meet the Baby

Do this as often as you like. The baby’s father can do this too. In fact it’s a lovely thing to do together. If you can get someone to drum for you all the better, otherwise choose some ambient music and decide when on the track is the signal to return to normal consciousness.

If on your journeys you ever encounter anything or anyone that you are not sure about, simply ask them “Are you for my highest good?”. If they are not, they will disappear, if they are then ask them a question. Ask lots of questions, say pleases and thankyous and pay attention. Talk about your experience when you come back, write about it and draw it. If you think you can’t remember it all don’t worry, you will.

“In the drum journey I got into a deep meditative state, I was able to see within myself, like I was floating through my unconscious mind. I connected with my baby girl, I felt safe and I knew I could trust the birth process which was ahead of me.” Kath

Make a ‘Goddess Eye’ Protective Talisman

The Goddess Eye, originally called the Ojo de Dios, or God’s Eye, is a protective amulet or talisman from the Huichol Indians in Mexico. The Grandfathers used to make these as a prayer for their newborn grandchildren and each year they would add a hair from the child to the weaving as a way of asking for continued life.

In the workshops we make these using Birch wood or Apple wood, various colours of wool and crystals. The magical quality of Birch is protection, in the ‘old days’ they made cradles out of Birch to protect the babies, and Apple is the tree of love. Each colour has a magical quality too, usually the women intuitively choose the colours and are delighted to see the significance later. Then finally sewing on the crystals to the finished piece to bring in the desired energy.

For good instructions on how to make a Goddess Eye visit:

www.caron-net.com/kidfiles/kidsapr.html

The Opening Circle

Once you have decided who you will invite to the birth of your baby, bring deeper meaning to it by having an Opening Circle. At about 38 – 40 weeks, you’ll know the perfect time, invite your support people to come to your home and have a cup of tea or meal. Be as elaborate or as simple as you want to be. You could include those who you have asked for help before and after the birth, who you may not have asked to the actual birth, or just have those who will be at the birth.

Before your tea or meal, sit in a circle and address each person, welcoming them to your birth circle. Tell them why you have asked them to the birth (or for help around the birth) and tell them what you want them to do. This can be done either just from you the pregnant Mother or together with your partner, or you may wish to do both. Ask each person to speak in response, from their heart of their wishes for you and your baby. Warn them before hand so they can give some thought to this important process. Ask everyone to name any fears they have and address them there together. You don’t want anyone with unresolved fears, attending you at your birth. If you can’t resolve the fears together then you may want to change your plans. After everyone has spoken and all is said, using a ball of wool or thick embroidery thread, wrap a couple of loops of the yarn around each person’s wrist around the circle, making real and visual your circle. Contemplate the significance of this, talk about what it means to you to have these people prepared to help you unconditionally with your pending birth. Then each person breaks the yarn off and ties three knots to make their bracelet. Tell each person to make a wish with each knot.

Have your tea or feast and enjoy the deeper connection.

Everyone will have a constant link with you and each other now, waiting to be called by you, so they can serve you in whatever way you have asked.

After the birth, when you are ready, perhaps on day 7 or so, you can have a Closing Circlewhere you give thanks to everyone, cut off the yarn bracelets, tell and retell the stories, look at the photos and celebrate.

A Blessingway

The special ceremony to honour the Mother-to-Be is the Blessingway. This is your wider circle of friends, your community, gathering together to bestow you with their wishes and to honour you for the important role you are playing for the community, bringing in a new person. The point of this ceremony is that your friends, family and community thank you and honour you for that. You may choose to do a ‘belly cast’ at this party. You could also do a henna tattoo on your pregnant belly, an ancient protection ‘spell’ from India. The Blessingway is also a wonderful event to include your other children in. This ceremony can be for women only or a family event. It can be organised by you or for you and be conducted at around 36 weeks of pregnancy, or within the last month. Ask the guests to bring a bead, these are to be strung during the ceremony as each woman, man (or family member) speaks their blessing, and are given to you to keep. You may hold, contemplate, or wear the beads during your birth to remind you of all the love and support that you have around you. Ask each guest to prepare to speak (or read aloud written words) their blessing as they string their bead, perhaps in answer to:

Words of wisdom and encouragement to help the mother-to-be during her birth.
Their prayer or wish for the woman in her mothering.

Ask them to write their blessings down so that you can keep them in your journal. Ask the guests, if necessary, to focus on the positive.

Have a tea party, with you, the mother-to-be as the guest of honour.

See www.moonsong.com.au/Products.htm for a Blessingway kit.

“It was awesome having a Blessingway, it was like the start of the magic to create the perfect birth. I felt so blessed that these women had so many beautiful wishes for me. Everyone put their thought and wish into their bead, and we created the connection literally with the bracelets. With the power of all those spoken words, within days I gave birth to Eden. And in the days after his birth, I felt the support again of all those women, completing the circle.” Monica

“Having a Blessingway was beautiful. During my birth, I felt surrounded by the women who had wished me well. It was as if we became one and I had extra strength and wasn’t alone.” Melissa

“For my first daughter Iris, my sister asked if she could arrange a baby shower. I was a little nervous at the potential lack of heart of such an event, so I agreed on the condition that I could help. My requests were:

1. That each woman coming brought a bulb, plant or seeds I could plant for my baby (instead of gifts).

2. That each woman came with a piece of writing or poetry, by her or borrowed, for my baby.

3. That each woman would bestow a trait upon my baby, which they wrote on a wooden bead to be strung together with all the others.

So now 6 years later, we still have our garden, the writings are in a special envelope for Iris and the beads hang in the play room. I am grateful that we did this welcoming event for me and my beautiful Iris.

With my 3rd daughter Cedar, I felt it too much to have an event at home and was deeply aware that the majority of the women I wanted to connect with were not within traveling distance. So I arrange a welcoming spell that I could send to women far and wide. The spell consisted of a piece of beautiful fabric to create the spell upon, paper to write upon, a candle, and instructions with a date and time that one could attempt to perform the ritual on with the intention that we created the welcoming in unison. It arrived tied in ribbon. The extraordinary things that were returned on that paper made me cry with joy, over and over. Some wrote poems, others did a painting and some wrote a letter of love to the baby Cedar. One even had a big lipstick kiss. The fabric was to be returned to be constructed into something at a later date. I had expected no change to the fabric apart from being filled with the magic of ritual. Instead some where carefully embroidered with words and images of love for Cedar. I am so grateful that I had the inspiration to create this ritual. I did mine at home with Cedars 2 older sisters who were 2 and 3. They each did a picture for Cedar and had their own fabric to perform the ritual on.” April

Birth

Invoking the Ancient Birth Goddesses

Birthing With The Goddess [1]

Pregnancy and childbirth are often a time and often the first time women and men truly encounter the Divine Feminine.

The pregnant woman IS the Goddess, the Divine feminine in her human (wo)-manifestation performing a miracle.

The Divine Feminine has her outward manifestations, every where.

Every culture across time has had it’s Goddesses to call on for protection, guidance, nurturance and support through pregnancy and childbirth. You can call these ancient Birth Goddesses during pregnancy meditations and during labour.

Call Brigid, Artemis, Ixchel, Freya, Yemaya, Changing Woman, Pukkeenegak, Sri Lakshmi, Kwan Yin, Tauret, Hathor, Gaia, Kunipippi. Light a candle for each of them as you say their name and give thanks for them being with you.

Remember your birth is a rite of passage

It is important to ensure that your transition time to mother (each time as well as the first time) is as you would like it to be. For example, bring the same amount of attention to detail for the birth as you would to your Wedding. Who do you want to be there to assist you, to tend to you, to take photographs?

What things do you want around you? What music, what food, what essential oils will you burn?

The process of figuring this all out (journal your conversation with yourself about this), will reveal to you all sorts of things for example any issues within primary relationships that may need addressing, fears about who is in control etc.

“A strong message for me, as I contemplate my pregnancy, is that in creating life and giving birth I am experiencing a unique and precious rite of passage for myself. It deserves reverence and love as much as any other special occasion in my life, and the more I attend to this, the richer and closer connection I have with myself and my baby.” Cassarne

Siblings at the birth

Birth is a rite of passage for the baby’s siblings too, into big brother or big sisterhood! Give special care to your thoughts about older brothers and sisters involvement in the birth. I suggest that they are present for the birth, with the freedom to come and go as they feel and need to. They need their own support person, maybe even each depending on their age, and she or he will be responsible for knowing at the time, with lots of discussions with you ahead of time, what’s right for the sibling. I believe that part of the healing our culture needs around birth, will happen as the children who are present at their baby sibling’s birth, grow up knowing that birth is part of life - Mummy just concentrates and gets really strong and pushes out the baby and there it is.

Obviously the easiest place to do this is in your own home. However, the inconveniences to the siblings that a hospital creates can be worked around.

Afterwards, have the children draw the birth and if they’re old enough, write the story or have someone be their scribe. You will love to look back on these.

“I was six when Jackson was born and I remember it more vividly than any other memory from that age. As an adult now, looking back, I know that what I experienced taught me that birth is a community celebration, and this is very different to what most of my peers think.” Sam

Candles

Get a special candle, your birth candle, to light at the beginning of labour. Make a wish, set your intentions and give great thanks for a safe, easy birth.

This could be the special candle that you light for your baby on special occasions or each time you want to remember the magic of their birth and your powerful journey together.

Don’t blow the candle out, pinch it out or use a snuffer, it keeps the ‘wish’ contained.

After the Birth

Placenta Rituals

Lotus Birth

Rather than cutting the baby’s cord at birth, Lotus Birth involves leaving the cord and placenta connected to the baby, until it comes off itself. This takes anywhere from about 3 to 12 days. During this time the placenta needs to be drained of blood and salted to prevent it smelling. This process creates a very subdued and still atmosphere in the home, which is very appropriate for a newborn and is said to create a more gentle transition for the baby to the outside world.

See

Making a Homeopathic Remedy from the Placenta

You can easily do this yourself or with the help of a Homeopath.

The theory is that having a remedy at hand for your baby that is made from her/his placenta is like having a bit of a magic potion for the baby. A remedy to use at times of illness, shock, transition or change and when you intuitively feel to. It can be used for others as well. For more information see www.placentalremedy.com

Placenta as Tonic

Humans are the only mammals that don’t eat their placenta, even vegetarian cows do.

The reason the animals eat it is for the unsurpassable nutrition it supplies. If you want to get the almighty boost that your placenta can be for you but you don’t want to eat it, you can dry it and take it in capsule form. To dry a placenta you would simply dehydrate it in the oven, then using a mortar and pestle grind it up. Then put that in empty capsules that you can buy and take it over what ever period of time your intuition tells you.

Burying the Placenta

Do this as a ceremony, returning it to the Earth and give great thanks for the role the placenta played in ‘feeding’ your baby. Many traditional cultures honour the placenta in all sorts of ways. Now a days, after most births, the placenta is thrown in the rubbish bin. Burying the placenta, perhaps with a special tree to grow from it is a beautiful way we can reconnect with honouring this vital organ, and in so doing express our gratitude for the whole process. For those who give birth in hospital, it is a definite step forward in claiming the birth experience as your own, to take home your placenta.

Baby Moon

Remember Honey Moon, think Baby Moon.

Ideally a whole moon cycle, 28 days, but perhaps more realistically 1-2 weeks, at home. No chores, no work, answer machine on phones off, lots of help from friends and family with the cooking and washing, older children happily enjoying coming and going to friends or family and you in bed or on the couch with your partner, relaxing, recovering and being 100% focussed on the baby. You all deserve this, and it will set you up well for the time ahead.

The Naming Ceremony

When you are ready, introduce your baby to your community with the Naming Ceremony. The act of naming your child is hugely symbolic, in fact its probably something you put a lot of thought into.

You may choose to use this ceremony to designate “God” parents. Perhaps this could be the occasion you plant a tree in honour of your baby and bury the placenta with it.

1- I am, with Sharon McLeod, artist, and musicians Ganga Ashworth and Louise Bell, creating a book and CD featuring beautiful artwork, specific invocations and inspired musical pieces for each of the thirteen Birth Goddesses. Women, doulas and midwives can use the book and CD as part of their preparation for birth. See www.moonsong.com.au, for information on the availability of “Birthing With The Goddess”

Jane Hardwicke Collings, Midwife - Australia

Website: www.moonsong.com.au